Friday, March 7, 2008

Give Thanks That You Can Walk

Today as I rolled along in the UVSC parking lot looking for a spot to park, I realized something. People will do virtually anything to get a parking spot that is 4 spaces closer than 3 empty parking spots a little further down the row. I find it interesting... No, let me rephrase, I find it pathetic that our society is so lazy that they are willing to cut someone off while giving them the bird at the same time, dent someone's door, and almost kill an innocent pedestrian to pull into a space that is literally only a few hundred feet closer than a much more accessible space farther from their destination.

Furthermore, the time it takes these people to drive around frantically looking for someone to leave is far longer than if they'd just drive to the back of the parking lot to choose from a wide array of spaces. All shapes and sizes included. My favorite though is when you get the "Stalker" space predator. The ones that lie in wait for you to come outside into the parking lot so they can slowly creep behind you as you walk to your car, all the while they're trying to figure out where your car is by watching your movements, and studying walking patterns, so they can plan their next move. I've always wanted to act really nervous while they're following me, looking over my shoulder with a frantic look, walking somewhat erratically, and then, break into a full sprint, dropping my back pack, kicking off my shoes, tearing off my shirt and pants and running for dear life... "Why would you take off all your clothes?" you may be wondering, why NOT is the real question!

The best prank for a stalker driver is when you walk really slowly, making sure to kind walk back and forth across the parking lot so they have no earthly idea where you’re planning on going. Then they have to follow you all the way to your car, only to have you open your door, to get something like a stick of gum, this leaves them frustrated and fuming usually. I always get a good chuckle out of it though. Sure, I could tell them I'm not leaving, but then what fun would that be for me?

Here's my take. I have always been one to say, "Give thanks that you can walk." I almost prefer getting a space that is farther away. Not only is my car less likely to get t-boned by the kamikaze parking space driver, but frankly, I need the exercise. I think we should all be a little more grateful that we have legs to walk. Especially give thanks when your legs are as muscular and chiseled as mine!

3 comments:

Janae said...

I feel the same way, but I have to say I am a guilty predator, following students to their cars so I can have a spot. But! In my defense, I only do that after I realize that all 732 spots in the parking lot are taken, and BYU parking is ridiculous. No other options.

Cody said...

bahahaha. i LOVE when people follow me in the parking lot and then i end up not leaving. suckers.

Bri!!! said...

Tanner, I laughed out loud when I read this. Very funny and so true.