Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Laughing @ Others, and Making Lots of SugarDaddy Candy!

First, let me thank all of you who decided to follow my blog. I have to explain something. Some of you took my pleadings so seriously, you even thought that I was crying, or whining about not having any friends. Though that fact remains true, I rarely cry about it... I was simply bringing attention to the wonderful new feature of following blogs! Now, I officially have 15 people who follow mine. This in-and-of itself gives me more motivation to occasionally grace all of you with the blogs which you are undoubtedly looking forward to the most... Mine!

Moving on -- Oh wow... I'm sitting at work (doing some after hours blogging) and all of the sudden someone just started slamming a hammer on something that is surely concrete... It may as well be under my desk seeing as I can't concentrate for one second with all this noise going on. -- HAHA, Right as I was about to start typing about how it finally stopped, OH, Enrique starts hitting the wall again... This has got to stop!!

Okay, stopped again, lets do this while I still have time...


OH YEAH, HILARIOUS STORY!!


I was riding my awesome Harley Davidson 150 CC Scooter today down on BYU Campus, and I was sitting at a red light, and I look across the street just in time to totally watch this zoobie (name for byu kids who are weirdies)totally eat CRAP on his bike! When he fell, his bike just kind of went into a big crumpled mess, and he kind of did a front flip onto his butt and sat up. Now, the best part is, he ACTUALLY tried to play it off! LOL!! I'm laughing while typing this, but, he sat up, and just pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around it as if to say to the girl who was standing 3 feet away, "I totally meant to do that, I was getting a little fatigued on my bike, so I thought I'd just take a seat on the sidewalk almost halfway into the busy intersection". I kid you not, I laughed so hard, and so loud that the girl who was standing next to him, the 15 landscapers kiddy corner to me, and the zoobie himself all heard me guffaw at his detrimental situation. I was laughing so hard that I involuntarily raised my arm dramatically in the air, way higher than it needed to be, and then quickly slapped my leg in total glee, and enjoyment! They all looked at me like I was the biggest douche bag in the world, but I didn't care, it didn't stop me from laughing my head off. The only bad part is, I totally missed the green light, there was a car behind me, and he even honked at me, right as it turned yellow; well, I just waved at him as if to say, "Sorry buddy, but this is way more important!" And I ungrudgingly waited for the next green light to illuminate.

Anyway, I died, and I'm glad I remembered this to tell all 3 of you who actually read my blogs!

Onto my Sugar Daddy Status --

Many of you know that I work as an "Internal Sales Account Manager" for a software company called Digital Gateway; and if you were wondering, YES, it is very important to me to state my full title, it makes me feel extremely important, and you can't ever take that away from me! -- Anyway, I digress -- So, the past few months have been extremely rough! Sales dropped like crazy, and pretty much nothing was rolling through the door. People didn't want to spend money, and for some reason it was just draining the life out of me! With a lack of motivation, and serious thoughts of even leaving my job, I was saved by my vacation to Lake Powell, which renewed me. When I got back from Powell, I can't tell you what happened, I don't know exactly why the business started just flowing in, but I have officially had my best month (by about double) I have ever had ever since entering this position. I was the number 1, #1, Numero Uno, First Place, Celestial Beast Master, sales guy out of the whole company this month. I reached a personal goal I set for myself a while ago in having a certain amount of money stored in my ING account. I officially surpassed that amount today! I am very excited to be getting 3.0% interest on money I don't need at the moment. (Everyone should have an ING account in my opinion)

$&*@#*&% -- You gotta be kidding me... Now Enrique has a friggen Jack Hammer or something -- I'll try to move on.

So, this month, I was able to make our company $66,830.74. I know right? All that in software sales. Lets just say it was an extremely good month. And yes, I'm boasting, and I do in fact really think I'm the best.

What will I do with all that commission you might ask? Well, I was thinking of blowing it all on Jdawgs Polish dogs... or... Costco's decadent assortment of Churrows, burpotdogs, and smoothies sound nice as well... Okay, no, not really; like I said, I pretty much throw all my money into an ING account to save all I can while my job is still making me good money. You never know what could happen with the economy the way it is right now!

In other news, school is going extremely well, I am for the first time in my life actually genuinely enjoying school, and what I'm doing. I'm learning a TON, and having some fun while doing it. If I haven't mentioned it before, I am a Digital Design major at Utah Valley University. I am kind of doing a few different things in the multimedia field, but I have pretty much decided I am going to focus on Web Design/Development. If I can improve the skills I've already got in web design, (Approximately 10 years experience) I can one day work from home, wake up at 10:00, work for 4 hours, and have the rest of the day to do whatever I want, while making disgustingly large amounts of money. That's the goal anyway, I know it will be while before I get there.

So, on a final, and more serious note.

My friend Rachel texted me this morning (very early, she's lucky I was already up going to workout with my personal trainer) saying:
"So I'm just watching the news as usual this morning. And I think it's very telling that everyone's saying the financial crisis will be solved if people start living financially prudent. And how long has the church been telling us to avoid debt and live within our means? Talk about prophetic wisdom."


I know, long text right? But, she's totally right. I think it's very interesting how the church (LDS Church, Mormon Prophet, Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints -- for my non-LDS readers) has been preaching this for years. I am convinced that Gordon B. Hinckley saw this coming. I remember the talk where he specifically talked about financially we are most at risk, not necessarily due to a natural disaster of some kind. And he couldn't have been so right! I am grateful we have a prophet on the earth today to help us know and prepare for the things that are about to come.

Anyway, just a small post within a post.

Hope you enjoyed the blog, it's a longee but a goodee, so, comment away, and let me know how awesome I am!

Until Next time girls and boys, always remember, you don't have to be faster than the bear... You just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

I Feel Betrayed, Broken Hearted, and You're all Dead to Me!

Guys, contrary to popular belief, I don't really write these blogs for myself, and myself alone, I write them for you guys to enjoy, so that you can tell me nice things about how awesome and amazing I am in my comments.

When I asked you guys to "Follow" my blog, the response was incredible. 3 people followed my blog, and that is INCLUDING MYSELF!!!! I want to know who even reads my blogs, so PLEASE Just go to the right menu, find the little images that say Followers, and click, "Follow this Blog". If you don't want me to know who you are, simply select that you want to be Anonymous. I just want to know that someone, anyone is reading my blog. I have no motivation whatsoever to keep posting blogs if 2 people are even reading them.

It's not hard people, just push Follow this blog!

If you're lost as to what I'm talking about, click the link below, it will explain everything.

CLICK THIS LINK TO FIND OUT ABOUT FOLLOWING (As if I haven't explained it well enough...)

Please, friends, family, strangers, enemy's, homos, douche bags, and wankers alike, I want you to follow my blog, this is very important for my emotional health and sanity. I have to feel like I have an audience in order to really perform well in these blogs. JUST DO IT! It's not hard. If you don't, I'll find you, and push you down on the playground, and we won't be friends anymore, Pinkie swear I WILL!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Catching Up, Scoot w00t, and Lake Powell

Here I sit in a particularly "bloggy" mood, and yet, I don't quite know where to start! I have so many things to talk about, yet I don't think it's necessary to tell you guys every single detail of my life. If you want to know what is going on with Janae and me at the moment, the best place for you to read about it in depth, would be her blog. I don't feel it necessary to go into detail here, as she has explained the happenings perfectly.

As for other "fun" topics of my bloggingdom, I have many.

For example, as some of you who know me know, I have converted over to the wonderful world of scooterdom. Once gas prices reached $4.00 I decided it was time to park my Nissan Maxima for a little while, to explore the option of becoming a Scooter owner. I shopped around, priced a few different scoots, test drove a couple, and finally found one I wanted. So, I purchased it, for a very fair price, and I've gotta tell you, I haven't regretted my decision once. My scooter is a Velocity 150 CC. If you're wondering what the number and CC means, it means 150 Completely Celestials. For all those people who aren't all that engine savvy. I've loved it.

Yesterday I was totally accepted into the world of motorcycle(dom) by a fellow motorcyclist who reached out his hand off of his handlebar to wave to me... This wasn't just any wave, it was the wave that says, "I'm not just any wave, I'm a wave invented only for fellow motorcyclists"; it was a stiff armed, wave, where the hand just stuck out, and didn't move at all, it was a wave of acceptance into the community of biker dudes. Isn't that awesome!? I seriously thought it was very amusing how much joy I got out of having a complete stranger wave to me, because we shared a couple of things in common. We are both overweight, we both like saving gas, and we both enjoy a little fresh air while riding a machine between our legs. I'll post pictures of me on my scooter very soon. If you're lucky, maybe I'll even show some skin, or get into somewhat promiscuous positions... But only if you're lucky...

Moving on -- I just got back from Lake Powell this last Tuesday, and I've gotta tell ya, it was probably one of the best trips to Lake Powell I've ever had. There were a few reasons, some of them being; A. all of the little bastage children running around were related to me in some way, which in turn means that I actually like them, 2) Most of the people who were there were of some relation to me, which in turn means that I kind of like them too, and D. We did some pretty freaking awesome stuff!!

Let me illustrate some of the activities by showing some pictures, and then talking about them.

video

Well, we did things such as making fools of ourselves with our synchronized swimming routine. We only worked on this for about 30 seconds, and then we did some improv at the end, so, give us a break.


Look, that's my fat Head, and that's the beautiful Lake Powell.



This one has a funny story. We all dressed up like this to swim about 200 yards to another houseboat, where we surrounded the boat and made inhuman noises with a goal to scare the crap out of the sailors on board the boat. It was a blast, and we had a lot of fun terrorizing the drunk people.

video

This one simply shows how superior my ninja skills are. We made it a habit to occasionally jump out of the moving boat onto the unsuspecting victim. Well, I was ready for these surly characters, so I took care of them quickly, and efficiently with my karate chops to the face and chests.

Anyway, the trip was awesome, and this blog is awesome, and I'm pretty awesome, so I think I've said enough. I am off to bed my friends, please become a follower to my blog. I know who looks at my blog anyway by my stats counter, so you may as well become an official follower to my blog. If you don't know what I'm talking about, it's a new tool added by google, check it out, it's cool.

Anyway, I'll try to post again soon about something obscure and most certainly funny, dry, or pointless...

Monday, September 15, 2008

Don't Give Up On Me!! FOLLOW MY BLOG!

Okay guys, I don't want you to give up on me as a blogger. I'm trying to get my thoughts together so that I can come and write a very thoughtful, and informational blog that will catch you up on the many goings on in my life right now. There is MUCH to tell, so I will try to write a blog, hopefully tonight if I can get my thoughts together.

So, Stay tuned!!

P.S. There's a new link on the side bar of my blog, it is there so that you can now FOLLOW people's blogs. It's like becoming a loyal reader. If you read my blog, EVER, even if you think you're a stalker, and don't want me to know you read my blog, PLEASE Follow my Blog. I am in desperate need to feel like people actually read the blog. It will give me much more motivation to actually write blogs, so, the more followers I get to this blog, the more likely I'll be to actually update the blog regularly.

I'll Follow yours if you follow mine! ;)