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Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Laughing @ Others, and Making Lots of SugarDaddy Candy!

First, let me thank all of you who decided to follow my blog. I have to explain something. Some of you took my pleadings so seriously, you even thought that I was crying, or whining about not having any friends. Though that fact remains true, I rarely cry about it... I was simply bringing attention to the wonderful new feature of following blogs! Now, I officially have 15 people who follow mine. This in-and-of itself gives me more motivation to occasionally grace all of you with the blogs which you are undoubtedly looking forward to the most... Mine!

Moving on -- Oh wow... I'm sitting at work (doing some after hours blogging) and all of the sudden someone just started slamming a hammer on something that is surely concrete... It may as well be under my desk seeing as I can't concentrate for one second with all this noise going on. -- HAHA, Right as I was about to start typing about how it finally stopped, OH, Enrique starts hitting the wall again... This has got to stop!!

Okay, stopped again, lets do this while I still have time...


OH YEAH, HILARIOUS STORY!!


I was riding my awesome Harley Davidson 150 CC Scooter today down on BYU Campus, and I was sitting at a red light, and I look across the street just in time to totally watch this zoobie (name for byu kids who are weirdies)totally eat CRAP on his bike! When he fell, his bike just kind of went into a big crumpled mess, and he kind of did a front flip onto his butt and sat up. Now, the best part is, he ACTUALLY tried to play it off! LOL!! I'm laughing while typing this, but, he sat up, and just pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around it as if to say to the girl who was standing 3 feet away, "I totally meant to do that, I was getting a little fatigued on my bike, so I thought I'd just take a seat on the sidewalk almost halfway into the busy intersection". I kid you not, I laughed so hard, and so loud that the girl who was standing next to him, the 15 landscapers kiddy corner to me, and the zoobie himself all heard me guffaw at his detrimental situation. I was laughing so hard that I involuntarily raised my arm dramatically in the air, way higher than it needed to be, and then quickly slapped my leg in total glee, and enjoyment! They all looked at me like I was the biggest douche bag in the world, but I didn't care, it didn't stop me from laughing my head off. The only bad part is, I totally missed the green light, there was a car behind me, and he even honked at me, right as it turned yellow; well, I just waved at him as if to say, "Sorry buddy, but this is way more important!" And I ungrudgingly waited for the next green light to illuminate.

Anyway, I died, and I'm glad I remembered this to tell all 3 of you who actually read my blogs!

Onto my Sugar Daddy Status --

Many of you know that I work as an "Internal Sales Account Manager" for a software company called Digital Gateway; and if you were wondering, YES, it is very important to me to state my full title, it makes me feel extremely important, and you can't ever take that away from me! -- Anyway, I digress -- So, the past few months have been extremely rough! Sales dropped like crazy, and pretty much nothing was rolling through the door. People didn't want to spend money, and for some reason it was just draining the life out of me! With a lack of motivation, and serious thoughts of even leaving my job, I was saved by my vacation to Lake Powell, which renewed me. When I got back from Powell, I can't tell you what happened, I don't know exactly why the business started just flowing in, but I have officially had my best month (by about double) I have ever had ever since entering this position. I was the number 1, #1, Numero Uno, First Place, Celestial Beast Master, sales guy out of the whole company this month. I reached a personal goal I set for myself a while ago in having a certain amount of money stored in my ING account. I officially surpassed that amount today! I am very excited to be getting 3.0% interest on money I don't need at the moment. (Everyone should have an ING account in my opinion)

$&*@#*&% -- You gotta be kidding me... Now Enrique has a friggen Jack Hammer or something -- I'll try to move on.

So, this month, I was able to make our company $66,830.74. I know right? All that in software sales. Lets just say it was an extremely good month. And yes, I'm boasting, and I do in fact really think I'm the best.

What will I do with all that commission you might ask? Well, I was thinking of blowing it all on Jdawgs Polish dogs... or... Costco's decadent assortment of Churrows, burpotdogs, and smoothies sound nice as well... Okay, no, not really; like I said, I pretty much throw all my money into an ING account to save all I can while my job is still making me good money. You never know what could happen with the economy the way it is right now!

In other news, school is going extremely well, I am for the first time in my life actually genuinely enjoying school, and what I'm doing. I'm learning a TON, and having some fun while doing it. If I haven't mentioned it before, I am a Digital Design major at Utah Valley University. I am kind of doing a few different things in the multimedia field, but I have pretty much decided I am going to focus on Web Design/Development. If I can improve the skills I've already got in web design, (Approximately 10 years experience) I can one day work from home, wake up at 10:00, work for 4 hours, and have the rest of the day to do whatever I want, while making disgustingly large amounts of money. That's the goal anyway, I know it will be while before I get there.

So, on a final, and more serious note.

My friend Rachel texted me this morning (very early, she's lucky I was already up going to workout with my personal trainer) saying:
"So I'm just watching the news as usual this morning. And I think it's very telling that everyone's saying the financial crisis will be solved if people start living financially prudent. And how long has the church been telling us to avoid debt and live within our means? Talk about prophetic wisdom."


I know, long text right? But, she's totally right. I think it's very interesting how the church (LDS Church, Mormon Prophet, Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints -- for my non-LDS readers) has been preaching this for years. I am convinced that Gordon B. Hinckley saw this coming. I remember the talk where he specifically talked about financially we are most at risk, not necessarily due to a natural disaster of some kind. And he couldn't have been so right! I am grateful we have a prophet on the earth today to help us know and prepare for the things that are about to come.

Anyway, just a small post within a post.

Hope you enjoyed the blog, it's a longee but a goodee, so, comment away, and let me know how awesome I am!

Until Next time girls and boys, always remember, you don't have to be faster than the bear... You just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

10 comments:

Starla said...

Tanno you awe such a twixto! So fun!
I wish I had on the back of your scooter. I LOVE BAFOONERIES. They slay me. I would have been right there with you, guaffawing my head off. And how bout that record month. Hey now you can pay back the millions you owe Dad and I! Love you! Mom

Jessica said...

Hey you!
I love the story about the byu guy crashing, Jay and I lived there for three years, I saw the funniest things happen on bikes!They need to have a class on bike function and getting around campus.
I always laugh at people getting hurt "is that wrong"? What kind of a mom does that make me?
Savannahs lizerd died a few weeks ago, she was so upset, but the face she made (pure torment)was hilarious! I started to bust up!She got so mad at me! Then she said I didn't care for beautiful creatures!I have to tell you it was the ugliest lizard I have ever seen. Congrats on the Job! See Ya Jess P.

Jessica said...

Hey you!
I love the story about the byu guy crashing, Jay and I lived there for three years, I saw the funniest things happen on bikes!They need to have a class on bike function and getting around campus.
I always laugh at people getting hurt "is that wrong"? What kind of a mom does that make me?
Savannahs lizerd died a few weeks ago, she was so upset, but the face she made (pure torment)was hilarious! I started to bust up!She got so mad at me! Then she said I didn't care for beautiful creatures!I have to tell you it was the ugliest lizard I have ever seen. Congrats on the Job! See Ya Jess P.

Greg said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rob and Tiff said...

Ok the story of the guy biffing it was hilarious. I was laughing just thinking about seeing someone do that. However, I totally biffed it the other day when I was out running, klutz I know, so I know I probably looked just as ridiculous and hilarious as your guy did, ya know with my arms flailing as I plunged forward to eat asphalt. I just hope someone got a good laugh out of it like you did with your guy. :-)

Bri!!! said...

Tanner, I died laughing when I pictured you slapping your leg and guffawing. I love your laugh and that would have been so funny to have seen. I can't believe the zoobie was trying to play it off LOL. I'm so glad you are having such an amazing month. That is so much fun. All it takes is to spend some time with your sisters and you are good to go:-). I love that kind of thing, to make money is FUN!

Love your guts bro.

Bri.

Janae said...

I'm glad you've found motivation to write for complete strangers. :)

I'm sad that I missed out on that kid falling off his bike. I'd have honked at you a lot sooner than the car behind you did, though--tell you what.

I am proud of you for how well you've done this month and for meeting your personal ING goal :) Congratulations.

I'm so glad you are finally enjoying your classes.

And thank heaven for my fear of debt and for parents who pay for school. Being careful with money is so important.

Thanks for posting again, funny boy. Love you.

Rachel said...

Celestial Beast Master, haha. Hey you're kinda funny....

j e s s i e said...

Thanks for the good laugh!
I was told about your blog so I thought I would say hello.
I'm sitting here laughing after reading this post, and then seeing your moms comment. I remember one time sitting in sacrament meeting with you guys and someone did something that we shouldn't have been laughing at, and we were all trying SO hard not to, which only makes you laugh even harder. Anyways... random thought, but a good memory none the less.
Glad to have found you in the blog world. No need to say "I hope things are good" because sounds like you are as awesome as ever! =)
Take care,
Jessie

Anonymous said...

Tanner I left a note for you the day you first posted this story. I am not seeing it though. I laughed to myself for 20 min. after reading the story because it eas so classic. I have been waiting for another entry but you are a slacker. Love Jami